Why do we do that? Get in our own way?
I think, for me, it was trying to live up to some imagined ideal. For years I paid close attention when artists would discuss what is acceptable and what is not acceptable when creating art. Should one use photo references? Should one use a grid? Should one only use the magic painting medium? I used to feel like I had to choose a side. My thought process was a little like this:
"Well, artist "x" is very skilled and highly educated. Than whatever he/she says to do must be the acceptable way to make art".
Even though I often questioned this artistic dogma, I feared if I didn't do things the "right" way, than my art would not be valid.
I know, it's dumb.
The self inflicted roadblocks don't end there.
I worried about painting works that were appealing to a wide audience. I worried about the paintings not selling. I worried that not gaining a following on social networking meant I wasn't any good.
So nearly four years into being a full time artist, I haven't gotten very far. I have looked at the paintings I have created and asked myself why did I paint that? I haven't been painting for me. I've been busy trying to live up to that damned imagined ideal.
Ok, it's not a total loss. I have spent a great deal of time striving to create skillful art. I have a few paintings that are pleasant.
Now it's time to make my art my way.
As bold as I may sound, I assure you, I am still terrified. I don't have unlimited resources. Very soon, if this artistic endeavor of mine does not prove profitable, I'll have to go back to one of those soul killing, time-clock jobs. Let's not think about that right now.
Here is a study I finished yesterday.
Yellow Swallowtail Study, 6x6 Oil on Panel
High Res Detail Shot of Brushwork
I'm working on a new technique. The brushwork is more deliberate and it took way less time to create than my past work. Maybe I'll talk about it more in another post.
So, how can you get out of your own way? Make art that makes you happy. Make art that means something to no one else but you. Redefine what it is to be a successful artist.
That needs to be a future blog post. Redefining success as an artist.
But right now, it's time for me to get out of my own way. It's time to stop worrying about everything. Especially about being criticized. Besides, the critics have to find me first. Obscurity has its advantages ;)
